A lot of the Boundaries I talk about are Boundaries from within. Boundaries to guide and control your Choices. Things that YOU take ownership of and Commitments YOU make to yourself. Changing words like Can’t to Won’t/Can to Will in your head and with your commitments.
But what about Boundaries with other people? You know…Food Pushers! They may be beloved family members or well meaning friends, but the kicker is that showing they care about you by way of food, particularly food you should not or can not eat, is not healthy. Not physically and not mentally. It comes from generations before you, but now you have the power to end that cycle and put food in its place…as Nutrition…not love, or comfort, but to help your body BE the best it can be. So HOW? How do you deal with Food Pushers?? They like to work the guilt, consciously or subconsciously, so yes, you need to be strong internally, but you can use your words (all of them if need be!) to let someone down easily and back out of a situation.
A “No thank you” works for many and you can just repeat that…over and over and over..
If the person is open to understanding, sometimes an “I love you, but…” works and they may click on the connection THEY are making between food and an emotion.
“You have to try this!”
No, no you don’t. If someone is finding pleasure in something, awesome! They can enjoy it! Appreciate their wanting to share something they deem as positive WITH you, but it is not something positive FOR you. You can find pleasure in non food ways.
“Not right now”
“It’s only once a year”
And guess what, it will come around next year and next year you may be in a better position to accept something if you allow it at that time. It doesn’t mean you will NEVER eat X, Y, Z again, it means
“Next year, maybe”
“Are you dieting again??”
You have a goal. You are learning about nutrition, not partaking in the latest fad. You have decided to improve your body. Your diet is everything you eat, good or bad, so make the choices that will get you closer to your goal, not further away.
“I am just conscious of what I am eating now”.
“One bite isn’t going to kill you”
No technically it won’t (I mean, unless you are allergic!). But can you stop at one bite? If you give in an inch, will you take a mile? Have you looked to see what that “bite” is, let alone what the spiral could become?
“No thanks, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself”
“It’s your favorite!”
It may still be, but sometimes a little white lie is OK…especially if “your favorite” contributed to you needed to lose fat!
“It used to be, but I am over it.”
If YOUR words don’t work, you can always pull the Dr card…again, totally OK with little white lies in my book even if your Dr hasn’t said BOO. Some people will respect a “higher authority” and note the word CAN’T by giving the “Dr” the power to dictate your food choices, even though it is really YOU who WON’T have the food.
“I didn’t want to bring it up, but my Dr. has me changing up some things, I can’t have that”
And worst case scenario…
“Oh hang on, my phone is vibrating” and fake a phone call…they will move on and you can be embroiled in a conversation or step away.
Remember, these are YOUR goals. This is YOUR journey, whether it is to lose weight and/or build muscle. YOU do not have to eat or even accept anything you do not WILLINGLY want to. You also don’t have to explain yourself. If someone gets their nose bent out of shape because YOU are refusing something that is in direct contradiction to not only what you WANT but your GOALS, that is on them. If they get offended, they will get over it!
